Archive for Jist

Hiatus

I cannot even start to recall how long it’s been since I’ve blogged. Throughout a period of utter distress and unhappiness with circumstances the permeated throughout, blogging was one of the things on my mind as I’d fall into bed and lose consciousness. Now things have changed, moved out of a place that was non conducive to just about anything really: neither was it a place to relax, regroup, socialize nor anything that a normal human being would want to do.

Now that’s in the past, only a few tendrils remain to haunt me, which, I’m sure will be nothing more than wisps of the many let downs in life that will be relegated to back of the mind and in due time just adds to character.

The current situation is just a stepping stone on to better things. Those who stay still will gather moss, and evenutally remorse. That does not mean that only inaction leads to remorse, but nevertheless, better active and remorseful than, sedentary and waste away. Either way, I am keeping my head up. Eventually my course seems promising and challenging. Only thing I’ve got to do is keep my nose to the grindstone. The focus alone is reward enough, other good things will be sure to follow, or I will make it so.That’s enough for now.

Can’t think of a title

Hmm where do I start, relating back to the first entry of this blog I’ve decided to further do any drawing, writing and postulating in one single note book instead of writing and ripping sheets from notebooks and ending up with endless folded up sheets that I have to catalog. I guess a book itself would be catalog enough and I wouldn’t need to put it online…just yet.

As of late things have been pretty uneventful and eventful however my take happens to be on the situation at hand…I’ve had a few extra housemates as well as an extra roommate coming in to share the house. That means less space but less rent; I hope.

As of late I’ve been trying to get a loan for my fees but been unsuccessful because it’s another catch 22. In order to get a loan I need a visa for longer than a month and to get the visa I need the loan. Ha, i’m not surprised, I’d been through that before.

Anyway I just decided to take out a credit card for emergencies and just work up the rest. Hoping it should be fine, however shifts are hard as of late. I should have either quit the other job earlier or not taken it up at all. Total waste of time, money and mind.

So here’s to another sticky situation and when everything culminates into more of less one focused area of struggle and now I can barely breathe let alone think to write. So peace out.

Saturday night

Something relaxing about sitting in bed listening to a great tune and writing about nothing. Beats the mindless search for entertainment on youtube. Might as well do a general update, the new job has been nothing but a pain in the ass. Apart from getting flack from two of the supervisors, I keep missing shifts from the center.

It’s not like I don’t know what’s going on; it’s very evident what is going on, trying to weed out the good ones from the bad. Or maybe it’s just the general temperament of certain people. All I know is that negative reinforcement might create tougher individuals but when it comes in a situation where other factors and pressures are involved it is not going to help produce optimum employees. And besides it’s not the army. All they’ll manage is to lose a great, nay super, employee.  Oh well, I might quit soon considering I’m not making more money and actually losing money and my happiness. Shame though I have a great time with the guys there.

And I really need to find my own room soon, time’s a running short.

Fees, being lonely, this midsummer’s simmering tragedy
constantly on a steady low heat never a sign of retreating
can’t afford repeating my mistakes, it’s do or die, do I play it straight on through
or hesitate the just amount due, hoping to make long fading dreams come true
of love, freedom and escaping these fascist preachers, brain and soul leaches
all the haters, ignorant segregators, mindless instigators, blind cloned sheep

make life a living hell for the ones trying to break free and make sense, struggles
abound within and around, on this blue speck we’re living in. Do I blend in and phase out
or make shift the course of this history we’re all living in.

Oh well time to watch something and goto sleep because I feel the midnight munchies coming on.

This here is a post to the posts that have

This here is a post to posts that came and went without ever having had a chance to make it online. Also to the thoughts, the songs that I pen down at work and the ones that I never get a chance to pen down, to all the ideas about ideas that I’d dream about and never get a chance to realize. And to another day off where I did more than most sundays but still feel unfulfilled.

To another day that’s passed without someone to hold who I’ll cherish for the rest of my life or to randomly engage in non-sensical coupling to increase that pointless yet oft too heralded tally of youthful ‘love’ making. I’d much rather have the former than latter. Seems much more fulfilling.

Ah this brain of mine.

Swim Fan

Finally I can talk about my swim lesson. I was very very anxious on the day, had a bit of time to kill after my second shift ended which added to it I suppose. I wandered around the city center trying to pick up a better deal and hopefully a better suit. Even with all my meandering I managed to arrive at the center with 15-10 mins to spare.

While I waited, I read my book and that only added to my anxiety. I was worried about appearance mostly. Everything from my suit to my hair to spots on my chest, whether I’d get excited etc. Aie aie aie. I waited a bit too long as everyone else was already in the pool by the time I got there and I didn’t have a cap or goggles. Someone at the desk said he’d grab a cap when I got to the pool but I didn’t get it.

The lessons took off on a expected note. It seemed almost futile but I did manage to make a bit of progress and I told myself the only thing to aim for is perseverance. Keeping going and don’t let the little failures daunt you. With that I did and in the end it felt good. The trick I suppose is not to start off by trying to float in one spot or thread water or on your back etc. The forward motion, which is somewhat hard to get at first, is the best way. At least, it was for me. Some seemed better than others, and pretty soon we were broken up into two groups, the ones that seemed to know what they were doing and the one who were struggling.

We all used floats in the beginning but I tried to do it without it at the end and voila semi success :D . I did manage to make a few friends, although I can’t quite remember the names or faces.

All of us were told to practice between sessions so I went today to do just that and hit the gym. And I had recently purchased goggles and swim cap from the center on the day itself for that. I unexpectedly managed to get in on the Monday class for beginners so score. So not only did I managed to practice a bit I got a jump start on this week’s lesson. Hope they don’t yank me out of that class now; it’s alright I suppose one of the instructors for the improvement course said he’d look the other way. Bonus. And today I made very good progress on the front stroke, it was almost magical, like flying I suppose.

Because I had gone today, I thought i’d skip because I expected someone else to be there plus general nerves and embarrassment of being a non-swimmer with the regulars, I got over my fears and feel more at ease at just going in there to practice. I cannot wait to be able to just float, swim, and all those things people who can swim do.

Plus I learnt that it’s not a big deal what you wear. I’d feel more comfortable wearing a something a bit more secure. My trunks aren’t as snug as I’d thought they’d be. So I tend to just rest to one side while I want to be straight down. I think I’ll wait till I’m a bit more versed in swimming. Although I might just do it sooner for the heck of being more comfortable and not having to adjust myself or what I’m wearing all the time. It is somewhat exciting the thought of it. I think I just will. The Nike’s or Speedo’s I think, or just the Jockey’s

These times are so hard and it’s getting even harder…

Trying to feed and water my seed plus see dishonor…” Eminem

Just dropped into to blog as now i’m almost without recourse as all my study materials are in a tutorial class right now and I really don’t want to intrude. And with nothing else, this seems a good calling.

Writing a catchall blog entry is really defeats the purpose of blogging with tags and categories. But time constraints won’t let anything else in. It’s either that or nothing at all. I cannot wait for all the craziness and madness to subside so I can map out a productive, beneficial and creative daily routine. Full of recuperation, reflection, learning and growing. So in order to keep my blog organised, I shall call these entries, mini-me’s…Um, hold the phone, maybe just – Thinking out Loud and Jists. I bid everyone adieu.

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