Thursday the 11th was the last day of my swimming lessons. I’d missed a few classes beforehand and hadn’t been really practicing in between classes. I seem to have made a bit more progress, albeit it meagre. I guess I should keep at it. Not sure if I would continue to go for further classes, it would be cheaper to just go in and practice by myself, although there wouldn’t be the freedom of being in a class of non-swimmers. I also want to take hip-hop classes instead.
The last class was mostly fun and games for what reason I’m not quite sure, some sort of ritualistic ending I suppose. I doubt it aided much to furthering my swimming skills. I decided to be daring and forego false modesty and propriety and donned my swim briefs; I wore the nike’s which is one of the more modest briefs I have with 3 inch sides. I was saving it until I was adept at swimming then I wouldn’t be as self conscious, or so I reasoned. But I just wanted to be able to do it. And with that I did. I didn’t chicken out in while at home and packing my gear and I inadvertently needed to come back home in the middle of the day and I didn’t change my mind then either. I’d put it in the night before steadfast that i’d only pack those pair and not take the trunks as well and give myself an option to chicken out in the change room. Bar the stigma, and awkwardness of it somewhat, it felt good. I felt somewhat conscious especially when we were playing water polo in the pool and had to jump out of the water to get the ball and being ‘exposed’ as such and not in the distorting veil of the water. I guess it’ll take a bit more nerve to keep at it and not worry about others opinions or implied snickering. There are quite a few others who wear similar gear and the trunks as well so I guess it’s not that bad. The only comment I got was from a cohort in my lessons who asked if i was an ironman, did not have the opportunity to clarify it but, oh well.
I’ve resolved to wear it more often the other day but today was somewhat weary and unsure of myself. I’ll see how it goes. I will be somewhat reserved going in and trying to swim in them I suppose as opposed to being able to just swim. I’ll just have to brave it, after all you only live once and I want to wear and do what pleases me. If I could do it albeit dishearteningly in a country where it is taboo I can sure as hell do it here where it’s acceptable.
A while ago I also wore my jockey trunks which are smaller than the speedo endurance trunks. Both of the trunks however don’t offer the support or security of the briefs; with the trunks, there is very perturbing shifting and movement which I have to try and fix everytime I leave the water, which is awkward. The briefs keep everything in place without any adjustment needed.
Also I’d only ever worn my tyr’s in the water, and they were somewhat oversized and offered a lot of coverage, didn’t reveal too much when wet and i’d never actually swam in them. And I also wasn’t too aware or felt I needed to enhance the appearance of my package back then. So with the nike’s being the proper size and wearing an elastic ring to lift and retain a bit of size made the fabric outline the shape somewhat. But it wasn’t too bad. I’m no exhibitionist but there’s no harm in it whatsoever. If women can get away with bloody murder why should I worry.
I did have some inspirational ideas to continue waxing and certains strategies. I’ll see how it goes. A brazillian wax would be good, but the cost is really inhibitive. The hair on my arms seems to be coming back finer but the rest seem to be the same. My therapist didn’t do an all too thorough job the last time. Plus her prices have gone up. Oh well.
On a side note I almost ran into my once heart rending crush who just happened to be waiting for the shower as I was walking into the sauna. How she didn’t see me I don’t know, but i’m glad she didn’t and i’m glad I didn’t walk in from the other shower. I guess she might’ve seen me working out in the gym later on though. First time I saw her in a bikini though and I wasn’t even bothered, kind of almost turned off maybe. And plus I would’ve felt terribly, overly conscious with what transpired before and what I was wearing. Ok focus, don’t think about her at ALL. I have to once and for all stop falling for someone who isn’t even that attractive to me. Although certain qualities might make her attractive on a general physical level and that would be a general consensus, but other things are a definite turn off yet I fall for them why? Ah neurosis, what a rip. Anyway that’s enough spewing for now. If i haven’t gotten everything down, good. I don’t give a fuck.
Tags: briefs, freedom, jockey, nike, speedo, swim, trunks, tyr
